Some Advice

While it's true that I'm unemployed with no prospects, please believe me when I say that I am a hard worker. I wake up every day at 7:30am, I eat breakfast, and then I go to work. Not work work, but the tedium that is job-hunting.

I plop myself in front of the computer and make the rounds, first visiting the sites of specific employers that have peaked my interest, then hitting the job boards (and lastly, gazing over the Craigslist postings that don't look as though they will end with an ice-pick through the spine).

The point is, by 9am I typically look something like below, which is what I looked like six months ago around 9am, when I was still working. You know, without the TV and watercolor with the bamboo frame in the background.

Not that anyone should aspire to look like me (in retrospect, I could have feigned a smile at least), but the practice of approaching each day as if you are going to work is certainly beneficial. For instance, one thing I noticed in my own case is that if I don't brush my teeth by 9, it may not happen until after lunch.

Brushing your teeth may not seem like a big deal, but have you ever considered how unprepared you feel before you do it? Personally, I can't leave the house. Until I get in the bathroom and do my whole oral hygiene routine, I still feel like it's time for Fruit Loops and Ren & Stimpy, and that's not conducive to a productive day.

Showering is kind of a gray area. I haven't noticed a particular increase or decrease in my productivity when I haven't showered yet, but it certainly doesn't hurt. Plus, you never know when you're going to get that call from a hiring manager who had a cancellation and wants to hear your pitch. In 20 minutes. Can you make it?

Anyway, should you decide not to shower, I would highly recommend you put on some pants. Again, it goes back to Fruit Loops and Ren & Stimpy (or I suppose any number of distractions that occur without that extra layer). Put on some pants, people. You'll get more stuff done.

I suppose this isn't the most enlightening piece ever written on the subject of job-hunting. Should be matter-of-fact stuff. It's just strange how things have changed in a relatively short period of time. When I was 16, looking for my first job, folks relied on ads in the newspaper and signs in windows. I suppose to some extent that's still true today, at least for retail jobs.

But since I graduated from college, there has been this huge increase in the "don't call us, we'll call you" mentality of job posters. Ads now have clauses that discourage applicants from calling, showing up, or driving by the business with questions in mind. Just e-mail your resume, and for the love of God, don't inquire about the status of your application.

It's rough, because every Business professor you've ever had has told you to follow up after applying/interviewing. Supposedly this shows that you are really interested in the position. Makes sense. But when you've got hundreds of hungry applicants, all of whom want to assure this potential employer that they are VERY interested, well, that makes for a lot of e-mails and voicemails to sift through.

Maybe it's pessimistic of me to think this, but I can't help the feeling that some of the cover letters and resumes that I have sent over to employers were -- and this is probably just paranoia -- discarded. Deleted. Ignored. I know, it's crazy talk. Forget I brought it up.

The bottom line is that applying is a necessary evil. You've got to write brand-spankin'-new cover letters, and you've got to customize your resume with each application. My point is that you're more likely to do this with a clean mouth and a down-to-business mentality. Pretend like you're heading into the office. A little delusion never hurt anyone.

Actually, it has hurt tons of people. But you will probably be different.

For more on the subject, click here.